Begin the new week with good mood

Good mood came to me on Monday, I feel the power and energy. I would like to take a bike and ride somewhere around. And I know, that I would be able to do it today. But now I can only dream about night biking. Some time ago everything was easier, but I’m still happy because of how my life looks like, I wouldn’t change it for anything else.

Maja’s adaptation in daycare was quite ok - first day she was playing with babysitters 1 hour and I was sitting on the bench. Next day she stayed without me for 3 and next day for 5 hours. Everything was great, she didn’t cry, ate everything and had great time with kids.
When she started to go there regularly for 6-7 hours she suddenly started to cry. She cries when Adam take her to nursery, she cries when babysitter leave her for a while, she cries when other mums taking their kids earlier…
But whole day isn’t bad - she plays with kids, demands attention. I’m still trying to pick her before 4 pm, to give her more time to acclimatization. It’s new situation for her.
After her first week she got sick first time in her whole life. Just three-day affair - it ended as quickly as it started. Today she was still at home, but tomorrow she’s going to go back to daycare.
I still keep my fingers crossed, because I feel, that it’s not easy for her, she hasn’t got used to it yet. 

Just in a moment (this Wednesday) we’re going to fly to London. I can’t wait to go to the Natural History Museum again.
For now I’m not planning anything more, cause I still don’t know in which composition we’re going to go. We booked tickets for us and Maja, but if my mum will agree our daughter will stay with her in Warsaw. We miss these moments alone, when we know that we can go somewhere, spend our time together, don’t think about returning to hotel early, because our little girl will want to sleep or will just cry in random hours in each one day.
We’ve already bought plane tickets, but it’s ok for me to loose this money if I can change it for a relax. I think it would be better for her to stay at home - she would have constant day plan (which I can’t offer her when we take her to London) and she would take part in dogotheraphy.
We’ll see how the situation unfolds. I really hope, that my mum will agree, she would have to just take her to daycare, picke her up after she’ll be returning from work, play with her for 2 hours, wash, feed and take her to bed. After 7 pm she’ll have time for herself. I think she’ll handle with it, it’s only 1 week :)

Besides the trips there is a lot of new here (finally!)
Now I can start looking for a job, I’m preparing for this now: I can return to coding, I’m making some small projects (just for me), it’ll help me with changing my profession (I really hope it works out). Now - in September I have more time to take care of myself - I’m biking, again I have a time to mace manicure regularly. I found nice tutorial in youtube and I decided to try it.

These flourishes and doodles are very easy to make. I just took a cup of water (room temperature) and I make a drops of nail polish in different colors - each one should expand on the water. Not every nail polish is good for this, but most are ok (I like Inglot brand the most). Next I make some pattern with a toothpick and I dip my nail in it. The excess of the pattern (which stays on the water) I remove with a q-tip and viola! :)
It’s important to base your nails first (I used white color). Without any base the pattern will be transparent in some parts, and won’t look good.
It’s hard to remove the nail polish which settles on the fingers, but I found the way out for this too ;)
It’s very easy and cheap thing (it costs around 2-5 PLN) and it’s called PVA glue (you can buy it in each paper store).

I’m painting my fingers with this glue, waiting to dry and make my manicure. After I finish I just take off the glue like a sticky tape ;)

This saves sth about 1 hour!
If you have some time to play with manicure - try it. This gives you a cool effect. I really enjoyed it.
I regained emotionally, I returned to sewing. My friend is pregnant now and I decided to make her surprise - I sew a blanket, pillow case and a hedgehog toy for her son. This whole day sewing made me so happy and relaxed like I would lie on the sunny beach all day!

Our social life is also in better condition now.
It’s still not the same like before I born my baby, but from time to time I’m meeting with someone in cafe or teahouse. Thanks to that I feel, that not everyone forgot about me, and even if - sometimes they remind about me. Last time we invited friends to us and I had occasion to learn how to make sushi and… it worked out great!

I think we’ll make it in the future - it was better than in restaurants! I’m trying not to eat white rice lately, it’ not very healthy (I changed my eating habits), but eating it from time to time isn’t anything wrong, is it?
Our new diet is great! I’m eating healthy and tasty food (regularly).
It didn’t happen to me to be hungry, my portions are even bigger than before I started using this diet, but I feel lighter and better. I lost a little bit of weight , so maybe it’s possible for me to fit in my beautiful black dress :)
Still keep your fingers crossed, because if it’ll work as good as it is working now I’ll get my M size soon!
Biking and going for long walk also helps.

We decided to buy baby carrier, because putting Maja to sling wasn’t easy last time. She’s wriggling and repealing so whole intricate construction lapse… Sling is great but for little baby.
What do I think about Tula? Well… it’s great!

For each longer walk I’m taking baby carrier with us, because Maja likes to change her position. She likes to sit in stroller, but she also likes to watch the world in different way.
And when I have to go somewhere quickly - post office or to the shop - it’s easier to take her in carrier than go with stroller.
I’m not sponsored I just like this product:)

I have also some difficult subjects.
First one concerns my father - I’m still thinking about visiting him, but I’m not sure if I want to. I haven’t seen him for a year. Actually, the last time I visited him it was before I got pregnant.
My heart isn’t in it, I can’t forgive him those 18 years, which he completely ignored me and didn’t want to know me. And suddenly after 18 years he realised, that he regrets those years, he has a daughter... He tries to repair our relations for 8 years and I still can’t trust him. Somewhere in my head there is some red light every time when writes something. Sometimes I feel, that he want to keep in touch with me, because his son doesn’t care about him. I really don’t know how much did he understand, I’m afraid that he wants to have a basis to apply for alimony in future.
Why can’t I just believe in someone's good intentions? There are some moments, when I regret that I gave him my email address, but there are also moments when I’m angry for myself, that I limit our contact (now I have less time for internet than before, but it’s not a point).
Maybe it would be easier for me if I would be stupid and naive....
Sometimes I'm a little bit confused and I don’t know what should I do. Adult life sucks, I don’t know what I thought about when I was a kid and wanted to be an adult :(

I also don’t have good relations with my parents in law. We’re talking very rarely. They never liked me, never treated like a family - I was as an additive. And it isn’t better now.
Since I had Maja they want only a pictures of her. They don’t care to visit her… only photos, because they want to show everyone, that they are grandparents!
For my birthday sometimes they call me, sometimes they forget about it - it’s nothing important for them. Really, I don’t expect nothing big, but I feel strange, when my husband always get a birthday gift (the most of them are quite expensive) and I don’t get even a birthday card… I feel sorry, but I should get used to it… Am I sick? Did I achieve something? They don’t even know about it. They never ask me ‘what’s up?’. Sometimes my mother-in-law calls me, but she asks me that time how it’s Adam, because he didn’t pick up the phone...

I count on that they’ll be great grandparents for Maja. I hope that she won’t feel this huge aversion to me. It would be a pity if they’ll spoil the relationship grandparents-granddaughter only because of their idiotic prejudice.

The whole world is stupid… but what can I say? I can only pity them and go to pet my cats - they never let me down!

Cats and Maja relations have slowed down now. Maja is very active and she’s trying to show affection towards cats, but she’s not delicate. Sometimes she thinks, that cats like to be patted or hugged… and they are fed up with this love. Sometimes they smack her without a claws, but it gives no results.
Purka and Misio approach her very rarely, Amaya sometimes like to lie near her, she’s the most sociable at the moment (we’ll see how long).

Life goes on, but I have more positive than negative moments. Even my brother finally fall in love with some girl. I met her - she’s really nice and just normal person ;)
Everything is on the right track for getting balance :)

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