MadMum

Today I’m going to write extremely baby note. No cat photos, actually no photos of any kind.

This note going to be grumbling and my way to comprehend what am I always doing wrong and everybody do perfect.

I heard millions times, that baby shouldn’t live with cats in one home. At the beginning, when I heard every new comment like “find them new owner” I felt sorry; later I was annoyed, now I don’t give a shit… If someone has a problem with the fact, that I have 3 cats and baby - it’s his problem, not mine. I don’t care about stupid opinions of people who know nothing about me, my cats and all the more about my little daughter. We’re 2+1+3 (two adult, one little ant three meowing) and it’s not going to change. So - if you have different opinion in this matter - keep it to yourself.
But believe me - it’s not the only one thing, in which everyone around me is expert at, and I’m lame duck like always. Actually - I never know what my baby needs.

Because disposable diapers...
"How could you even think about using those pampers? Your baby will have nappy rash; those diapers are uncomfortable, hopeless, expensive and you’ll burn in hell, because you don’t want to use tetrahedron diaper like your mother, grandmother, great grandmother and aunt Joanna living nearby Poznan city (random name and city). You’re choosing foreign concerns instead of supporting polish products! Why? Because you’re too lazy to make launder? Is it better way to waste money for singlehandle to just make your life easiest?”
Well… you’re definitely right! I prefer to change diaper, trash it and be done with it. And definitely I prefer to devote this time (while I would make laundry, hang it and remove from the dryer) to my child. Because why can’t I use 21st century facilities? Why should I impede a life for myself? And for clarification - my little girl has no nappy rash, doesn’t complain about discomfort, she has always dry diaper - even after few hours! And by the way - I’m not sure if those reusable diapers are really super cheap - detergent, fabric softener, water, energy - it also costs… But what do I know about it…?

Because baby food jars…
"Are you buying those jars? You evil woman. Cook soups for her! Why - the crown will fall from your head if you do it yourself?”
Yes, I’m buying it, why? Is it a problem? No - cooking is not a problem for me, but really - do you think that I’ll be able to cook so different and ingenious dishes? When you’ll have occasion look at those jars - thousands of vegetables, meats, fruits… I’m not master chef, I wouldn’t even think about some combinations of ingredients and so much kinds of dishes. Not to mention that I won’t always be able to buy fresh and good quality ingredients. I’m pretty sure, that if my daughter would eat 3 kinds of soup alternately she would be fed up quickly.

"And baby porridge? Why are you making it yourself? Buy some instant porridge? I think you have too much free time…”
God… Yes, I’m making it myself, cause when I red ingredients on instant porridges I was really shocked! The entire array of Mendeleev...
What an irony… how to live? 

Because cradle cap…
"She’s 8 months now and she still has cradle cap? How do you take care of her? Do you use any ointment?"
Nooo… I don’t use any ointments. Everyday cat lick her head to remove cradle cap! Is it enough for you? Will you shut up now? Thanks for the attention :)

Because angioma...
I was shot from two sides here. First one: "Why don’t you lubricate it with the hydrogen peroxide? It’s good for everything!” You have to lubricate it sick parts of body, drink it and what else - pull through the nose…? "Because I red on Google - the hydrogen peroxide kills cancer, heals rheumatism, prevents heart diseases and people are waking up from a coma - and that’s all because they used miracle hydrogen peroxide…”

You know what? I’m really sorry, when I know, that someone’s close family has a cancer and believe in every nonsense which is written in the internet… I hate to visualize that it’s baloney to someone who suffer… It’s like killing the last spark of hope. But still I feel strange, when I know that this sick person refused chemotherapy, because ‘it’s only the way to earn money by the pharmaceutical corporations’; they made medicines to kill people and take money from them… Ah those conspiracy theories...
Well… the hydrogen peroxide won’t heal angioma...
And now the second one: "Because why didn’t you use a sensational method to heal the angioma by the cardiac drugs? They are used in severe heart defects, but they have side effects - absorption of hemangiomas! We cured a lot of kids this way, and now they all aren’t deformed! You’re asking about the affect the heart? Oh c'mon, nothing happened yet…” Hmm… no comment here...

Because dry skin…
"Why don’t you bathe baby in starch? Look at her dry skin! You won’t have any use for these body lotions! Starch! Starch is the only good solution!” Well… dermatologist has a different opinion about that, so I’m going to trust her. And this body lotion helps, so I don’t need any magic...

Because ironing…
"But why don’t you iron baby clothes? How don’t they crease? Haul ass and iron now! Best to do every day. 35 Celsius degrees in the shadow? Nobody care, hurry up - take the iron and get to work now!” Well, I’m not ironing if I don’t have to. Everytime, when I buy something new I wash and iron it. But if I use it for some time, so for what purpose should I iron it?
Ok, when something is creased and it doesn’t look good - it’s clear that that I’ll iron it. But the rompers for night? Cotton body? Please mercy, why??

Because baby clothes...
"How it’s possible, that you don’t want more baby clothes? Look, I bought 10 trousers, 8 body, 15 rompers and 3 pairs of socks! Don’t you like it? How it’s possible, that it pours out from the wardrobe?” Well… normally… these all pour out...

Because it’s too cold…
"How you dress her? Wind’s blowing, put her a cap. She’ll have otitis or she’ll get flu! What? Short sleeve blouse?”
So how should I dress her if there is 25 Celsius degrees outside??? Body, fleece trousers and 3 pairs of socks? And maybe also a jacket to this all?

Because playpen…
"Are you going to buy playpen? But why? Are you going to let her sit there whole day? Let her crawl on all fours! Your grandma didn’t have a playpen and she’s still alive! Degenerated mother!”
Oooh , I’m really evil mum… because I want to go to the toilet or cook some dinner. And I don’t want to worry about my baby, I want to avoid herself to hurt while playing...

Because pacifier…
"Take this pacifier off her mouth! What does she need it for? Let her talk…”
Talk?? When she’s talking she doesn’t use comforter… Oooh I’m sorry, I forgot, that I can’t distinguish wild screaming and gurgling...

Because it’s easy now…
"Your little girl is crying and you don’t know why? Oh c’mon it’s easy now, wait for the bellyaches! Or for teething! Oh, you’re lucky now, cause she is so young, she still can’t walk! Wait for walking! Then you will see how difficult could be! You’ll miss this time!”
Really…? Bellyaches? Yes, she had it few times, it's all water over the dam. Teething? The devil’s not so black as he is painted… She’s crawling? Great! Finally! And… no - I don’t miss that time. Yes, of course, infant baby is cute, sweet and charming, but the more she knows it’s more interesting and more fun. And please, don’t scare mums with this nonsense talking...

And I’m leaving ‘the best’ at the end:

Because nursery…
"Do you want her to go to day care? But… why? Are you mad? Nursery is the evil! They’re bullying the kids there! Don’t you listen the news? There were a lot of cases, where babysitters where beating babies! I saw that in the TV - there was an affair when someone filmed what's going on in nurseries! Sodom and Gomorrah! Let her grow up a little bit and let her go to the kindergarten!”
Srsly? You’re telling me to wait 3 years to return to work? After this time no one hire me, because I’ll go out of circulation, I won’t be updated in my technology. I’m waiting 12 months after birth and I’m going to finish maternity leave (and also breast feeding) If I’m evil mother because of my decision - I don’t care. Well… so we have a lot of evil mothers in Poland, cause nurseries are full of kids! We couldn’t get to the nice day care near our home, but I found better one (it’s little bit farer, but still close enough to take it into account. .
And they won’t hurt kids… ;)

Really, I have no idea why people are talking so much codswallop! I don’t know where did they get ideas, but I have to admit, that some of them are really ingenious...
Ok, I unbosomed to you, I feel better now…

Is there on my blog someone who has similar experience? Did your friends have the same ideas? Maybe they had some better? ;)

0 comments: