Today I won’t share a lot of photos with you. Today I’m going to grumble, make a lot of suspension points and also I’m going to write about motherhood. So if there are not your favourite climates just skip this note ;)

I have to admit, that I started to feel overwhelmed. No, no, I’m not talking about of excess of duties; just about feeling of isolation. Suddenly the most of my friends just as they disappeared.Few months ago I was going somewhere all the time, I had a lot of meetings… and now?
I feel like forgotten by everyone. If I won’t call first, no one will even think about me.
Every attempt to establish contact is finished with evasion and a lot of reasons why she/he has no time to meet with me.
Am I really so boring now?
Ahh… they don’t know how to talk to me… About diapers? Baby food? Or maybe about my daughter’s new skills like holding a toy in her hands?! I beg you… who wants to listen about this? But what should I talk about? Nothing is going on in my life now...

That’s funny - when my friend had a child I was disappointed, because suddenly she started talking ONLY about her baby. I thought that time, that I don’t understand it, she seems to has no life and no topics besides that. Is her life so monothematic now? You know what? I clearly understand her now… practically I’m not going out anywhere, and if I am only with my daughter. I have no chance to start new job (it’s partly my choice, cause I want to breast-feed my baby until she is 1 year old), I’m not traveling, I’m not doing anything interesting for others. There is only a home and a kid.

Let there be no doubt - I’m happy and fulfilled mother, I love my daughter and I couldn’t change my life for anything else. But should I really focus only and exclusively on my baby?

Public opinion says clearly - “if you have a baby, you have to smile all the time; you born healthy daughter, there are a lot of girls who desire it their whole life… and you’re grumbling because no time for yourself and monotony”.
And thousands of mothers on some online forum have blood lust in their eyes…. Because I asked how to handle with loneliness and with being forgotten by everyone… My husband is working in full-time job, I spend all my time with 5 months old baby. I can only gurgle or bubble...

I tried to to manage the situation, I decided that it’s is worth to keep in touch with other mums. I met with my friend, which I got acquainted with in my first job (when I was studying). She has a baby in almost the same age as Maja, so we have something to talk about (but these baby topics are boring as hell).
She proposed to eat pizza with her friend (also young mum). I agree, actually I hoped that this meeting will start some new episode in my life. I thought, that I’m going to meet an interesting person. Indeed - it was very interesting meeting… I learnt that probably I’m not normal. Why? So… my ‘new friend’ asked me where am I from (she meant about the district of Warsaw). When I answered her - she was shocked and made a face like consternation mixed with incredulity. There was a moment of silence, and then she said (with great excitement) “I really admire you… Because you used underground, and then you switched to the bus! And the journey lasted an hour…! With a baby! I would not dare to take this step!” I can’t keep up with her thinking...
Actually, I realized that my friend (this one from first job) didn’t come to me alone too… Unless her husband gave her a ride, she resigned meeting.
Is there something what I should know? Everything ok with me? Is it just the world around me getting crazy?
Well… if the underground and bus journey is called madness, so what would she think about flying by plane? We’re planning it on the nearest holidays (or maybe even earlier)...? I’ll burn in hell...

Ok, but let’s talk about something more enjoyable. Summer is nearer and nearer, but my after-pregnancy belly is still too big. I can’t use any miracle diet, cause when I feed my baby with my breast I can’t eliminate some groups of products. Even chocolate is healthy if I won’t eat it too much. So… I signed up for exercises for moms with their kids. I’m going to go on aqua aerobic too (with my mum this time).

I’ve done with first exercises and I’m delighted :) My aqua aerobic starts on April.

My art spirit is coming back to me. The last time I sew 2 charity masCATs and sleeping bag for Maja. I have a lot of nice things planned. I also want to sew an army of masCATs! If I’ll have enough time of course ;)

In April we’ll organising Maja’s baptism. We booked a term in church and confirm the number of guests. We have to also book some nice restaurant, because we’re going to buy a dinner for everyone. I hope that it’ll be sunny and nice day like today. I dream about the full Spring and nice weather...

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