Being here now

Some changes have occurred in my private life since I last wrote here. I had some calm moments, but also these tough ones happened. You know, sometimes I couldn’t find any strength and motivation… just like that. Well, I still feel this way from time to time. Hesitating between willing to survive and a desire to disappear once and for all. This is my everyday life.

I have no idea how many sensible words I’ll be able to create today, but let’s try…


In December we decided to adopt Kminek. Someone got rid of the problem by leaving a little kitty among the herd of wild cats. He couldn’t stay there, he didn’t have proper winter fur and also he’s very friendly. Too friendly to be able to survive on the street. Girls from the charity organization took him to the sanctuary, and this is where we met.

Kminek stole my heart very fast. He also loves cats. After a few behavioral consultations and conversations with girls from the organization, I decided to adopt him. To be honest, I was full of apprehension, but now I know that it was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life.
The socialization was lightning fast. Girls were getting from one step to another very fast. After more or less 2 weeks I didn’t have to isolate cats anymore.
This little one is a volcano of energy. He’s found common ground with Hedwiga in a trice. They became close - they love to play and sleep together or sometimes they lick each other. I feel he’s important to Hedwiga. Since he joined us, she stopped to pour out her frustrations on Purka.
Purka is more relaxed and serene now. She feels much better.

In January we had a cat pandemic at home. Purka and Hedwiga got some flu. They got antibiotics and inhalations every day. For the whole month, they’ve been sneezing and blowing their noses. Hedwiga was hoarse…


Luckily Amaya and Kminek gently got through the disease - they only had to get some immune supplements.

I, on the other hand, fell into melancholy. But I’ve mentioned it before. There is no need to expand this topic more, I think.

My low glycemic index diet combined with the meds I recently got helped me to normalize the pancreas. Since November I’ve lost 11kg. It may go on like this.


Every first quarter of the new year is a health check-out for me. I always catch up with all the things I’ve been procrastinating for the whole year. So I’ve finally gone to the optometrist and I got new glasses. To be honest, I needed this change a lot; both vision correction and new appearance. I used my old frames to put solar control glasses in it. So now I can also use them while driving.


My camper project is still in progress. The car went through more specialist ‘treatments’ - mechanic, re-sticking of the windshield, comprehensive cleaning and sandblasting, and protection of the chassis. We installed Webasto, and also insulated the inside of the crate. There is still a lot to do; the work is dragging on… I didn't expect it to take so much time; we have to ‘fight fires’ all the time.



Regarding DIY and self-improvement stuff; recently I’ve tried myself in ceramics. I took part in workshops, where I could create a few small vessels. This is definitely just the beginning of my ceramics journey. I’m going to continue working on more at home. I’m slowly getting ready to create an electric furnace. And to buy a potter's wheel.




I’m also writing letters. The number of my pen friends has decreased, but this is fine for now. I’m not looking for new pals at the moment. I’m not so sure if I could bear more regular conversations in my current emotional state. You know, I always reply to letters as fast as I can, so I don’t think that was the reason they left. Some of my relationships have ended; I think “it just happened itself”. From my experience, it follows that this is how a pen-friendship usually ends. Ho-hum; no hard feelings.










Sometimes I’m sewing. Again. I think I like creating Waldorf dolls. But I think in the nearest future I’m not going to create a lot of them. I would rather focus on other techniques; make the free space for other fields of art :)



I’ve also returned to electroplating. Suddenly new copper ideas appeared in my head. Unusual and metaphorical ones.
The old ones are still waiting for my capacity. For now, I don't have the heart to take care of them. Hmm, and space as well. I will finish them one day, but that day has not yet come.

I’ve created more soy candles in February (or it was still January.. not sure). Mostly for myself to test new scents. But of course, I’ll manage to donate some to charity.
By the way, I’m recently keen on candles. Except for the ones I make on my own, I buy some from small manufacturers. Really, I have no idea where this need for lighting candles comes from; I think it makes me feel hmm… calm? I found I love fresh and forest fragrances.
Usually, I light candles during the evenings. Well, I can’t wait until it’s warm outside, so I could stay on the loggia, listen to trains singing and inhale the silence of the air. I’m thinking about buying more lanterns to be able to take candles outside then.

At the end of January, we went for a short Kashubian trip. This is a wild and green Polish region, where local people are proud of being the national minority. They even have their own dialect.



It was a positive time, I could rest a bit. We rented a small wooden cabin at the edge of the forest.


We had a small fireplace and a cozy living room. In the evenings we’ve been playing board games and drinking herbal tea. And during the days, when it was bright enough, we’ve been wandering in the Kashubian National Park. We went from one point to another to visit as many charming unstudied places as we could. Even once our car got stuck in the mud. Yeah, it happens sometimes, haha, but we got some help very fast.


If you travel to Kashubia one day I would definitely recommend you to go to the Neclów pottery workshop. It's a kind of small museum, where you can see the traditional ceramic items. Some of them are age-old. People working there (who also create ceramics to this day) will willingly tell you interesting stories about the tradition, products, and techniques. They’ll also present you the whole process of making these gorgeous vessels (including clay molding). What’s interesting - the clay is also local. To sum up, it’s an atmospheric place. If I had more time, I would sign up for workshops for sure. To make it happen you should probably stay around 2-3 weeks somewhere close. Molding shapes from clay, waiting until it dries, kiln firing, glazing, waiting until it dries again, and re-firing in the furnace. That process takes time. We’ve been hanging around Kashubia for only 2 days; communing with nature, visiting dreamlike restful areas…


In general, spending time among the woodland spirits loads me with positive energy. Yeah, it’s not enough for me for a long time. Oh, but by not completing it on a regular basis, I wouldn't have the strength to go any further… In particular, if I’m a constant burden.



3 comments:

  1. It's so nice to see your post. And good news about little Kminek, who is simply adorable. I'm glad the adjustment has been a simple one. And that the cats have recovered from the flu. Lizzie is doing well, apart from developing a bad habit of not using her box to urinate. I now have puppy pads on the spot she likes and so far sticks to those. It's not the best thing in the world but I think it's the way it will be. (She was checked out by her vet -- no problem, just stubborn.) Your holiday away sounds beautiful and so restorative. I'm very intersted in the pottery and hope to see more of this. Please take care. I know your country is so close to Ukraine and may well face some changes with the influx of refugees. I am grateful you are safe and only hope they will be too.

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  2. Aww, Kminek is adorable!
    With the world in an uproar, it's more important than ever to take care of oneself, via nature, self-expression with art, and loving furry friends.
    I began a new job in January, and am reinventing myself a bit...and it's energizing.
    However, we are still pretty much in lock-down, and I find as many online classes and lectures as I can to enjoy. Many public libraries have fascinating events; I've enjoyed two from the UK, one from Minnesota, and of course local libraries to me too.
    I want to get into my gardens and start to plan for Spring. Yay!

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