Purr Inside Of Me

This year August is quite intense for me.
Although I’ve moved my Spanish lessons for September, after all, I can’t complain about the lack of work.

First of all, my new job requires me to change my habits. I have regular working time right now, so I can no longer decide when I want to make my tasks. For the last few years I’ve been working remotely, so I had a flexible working time. Sometimes it was convenient, but there were some disadvantages as well.
I’m glad I could change the environment; I’m looking forward to stable employment conditions here.


Also, my English lessons force me to be more organized.
I want to improve my communication skills; some time ago I’ve tried to learn in the English school, but I wasn’t satisfied with the results. For now, I take private lessons and I feel I’m getting better.
My rollerblading skills are getting better too. I’m still practicing how to not to meet the ground. Sometimes I’m skating better, sometimes worse. I can maintain balance, but still, I feel uncomfortable when the surface changes. Also, a curb is a considerable obstacle for me.
But I believe, one day I’ll be able to skate good enough to not to feel any fear.
I don’t need to skate through the whole city, I can only skate around the park. I still need to learn how to brake...


Dogo Therapy brings positive effects.
Those of you who are here with me for a long time probably know that I’m afraid of dogs.
There is no reason why I’m freezing when some dog which I don’t know comes too close to me. I was never beaten by a dog; any dog knocked me over or barked at me; I’ve never felt evil eyesight on me!
After my friend has adopted a friendly dog I realized that there is an opportunity for me to defeat my fear.
We’re walking together with her dog, he likes me a lot (with reciprocity), he’s always happy when he sees me, he likes to sit on my laps and lick my face.
Observing him I can get used to the dogs' behavior. I feel I’m not that panicked when I’m close to the dog I don’t know like I was even a few months ago.


It’s never too late to make my dreams come true.
I’ve always dreamt about playing electric guitar, but I didn’t have such a possibility.
I’ve pushed my dream into the darkest corner of my mind. I thought I’ll never think about it again, but recently it started to grow inside me again.
I’ve borrowed the electric guitar from my friends just to check if I’ll like it.
I’ve started to practice playing guitar, and although it sounds like instrument tuning right now I’m not going to give up! I love the electric guitar sound.
During my junior high school time, I’ve been playing acoustic guitar; it was a short period in my life and also I’ve been playing chords only. For now, I’m trying to learn tabs to be able to play the melodic line or some solo.
For now, I have to focus on training my fingers to let them float on a guitar neck. Also, I’m waiting until the corns will form.
I think practice makes perfect. Luckily I don’t have to worry about the sense of rhythm, also I’m not a tone-deaf, so I’ll handle it sooner or later ;)


I’m still working on my Etsy store with handmade stuff.
I’m making more macrame wall hangings after we return from our quick holidays I want to set up promoting the system and enable ads on the Etsy platform.
I have a lot of new ideas for products to sell. I want to project more 3D printed planters, other 3D printed home decor stuff and soy candles (in different colors and smells).
Everything I’m selling is natural and supports “zero waste” idea.
Macrame hangings are made with the recycled cotton, plastics used to the pots is processed too. Candles I’m going to make soon are going to be 100% vegan.


What else here?
I’ve finally bought vegan gel nail polish and I’m amazed!
What’s most important - I’m not allergic to them. And also they’re as durable as the regular ones. There’s a large selection of colors; colors are intensive and pretty.
I’ve decided to use Nailac nail polish and I think I’ll bond with this brand for longer.
To be honest, I’m glad I’m allergic to regular hybrid nail polish. It forced me to change them for the cruelty-free option.
I’ve been replacing my cosmetics and detergents for the vegan and cruelty-free versions for the last few months.


Recently my attitude towards life has changed a lot.
I’m not vegan or even vegetarian; in my opinion, we can eat meat and products of the animal origin, because this is how the food chain works. I can’t resign from them because of my health issues (if you can do this, you can consider going vegan).
But I’m totally against using animals (in any way) for our whims.
Products like face cream, shower gel or washing powder are not necessary for our survival.
And also we can make them all without torturing animals.
We’re living here together - people and animals - we complement each other. We’re equally important and we have no right to harm anyone - neither animals nor people.


I introduced these changes slowly, which means that I haven’t gotten rid of everything at once. I’ve finished the stuff I had at home and then I’ve been replacing them with the vegan equivalent bit by bit.
I’ve changed all the cosmetics and detergents for vegan ones in 3 months or so. Of course I’m only talking about my own stuff, or things we share with Adam (I’m not forcing anyone to replace his/her stuff just because I prefer using cruelty free stuff; I don’t think that entering the vegan regime would be the best idea; my husband has to make his own decisions about things he uses.)
So, my nail polish was the last thing “to replace”, but I had a lot of them so it would take ages to use them.
When I realized, that I’m allergic to regular hybrid nail polish, I’ve sold them all via Polish auction site and now I could buy Nailac.

I feel much better with myself after I eliminated all the non-vegan cosmetics and detergents from my everyday life. I feel that I’m closer to nature right now.
My life is different right now, it makes me happy when I can learn new things about myself. I’ve started meditating on my existence and now I’m not sure who I really am and what I believe in.


I have a feeling, that all these things I’ve learned about so far, have been a part of me for a long time. I’ve just had to discover it in a proper time.
I’ve always thought, that I can’t meditate. Apparently, I’ve started it from the wrong side. Meditation doesn’t require calm music or silence, sitting cross-legged and cleanse the mind from all thoughts you have at the moment.
Meditating is the ability to relax and letting your thoughts (both conscious and subconscious) to float through your mind and your whole body in any favorable external conditions.
If you need doing exercises, listening to heavy metal music or singing loudly to be able to meditate, then do this! You need to figure it out when your mind is open; when your thoughts are free and unlimited.
I usually meditate before I get asleep. I’m lying in our bed and I let my mind to wander wherever it wants.
This is the most creative time for me, this is how I draw inspiration for life, science, learning new things and all the crafty things I make.
I also realized that I’ve never been a catholic. Of course, I was raised in the catholic family, but I haven’t felt any connection to this faith.
I can’t tell if I belong to any existing religion, I’m not sure if I could ever fit into any religious framework.


I’m sure that we’re not alone; there are some gods who helps us. I also believe that there is something after we die, some other world, but I can’t imagine how it looks like and what rules apply there.
I also think (what can be a little bit controversial for some of you), we all believe in the same gods, but we call them different ways, we also prioritize them differently.
In most cases, our holidays overlap. Of course we celebrate them in various ways, but still, for me, they have something in common.
Anyway, at the end, when our Earth time will pass away, we’ll all meet in the same place.


My faith is strongly connected to nature.
I feel gods everywhere, their energy is Mother Earth’s energy.
And believe me, I don’t need any temples, priests, and teachers to be able to keep in touch with the gods. Walking through the forest with the open mind and soul is everything I need.
Because sometimes you have to close your eyes to be able to see more...